In my late twenties, I lived in a gorgeous one bedroom apartment with exposed brick and tons of natural light in a fantastic neighborhood. It was the stuff that New York City real estate dreams are made of…
Until my boyfriend and I split up and I had to find a new place to live – quickly.
Thanks to wonderful humans and social media, I found a cozy little room in an apartment with a couple of friends of friends. In a time when I was feeling completely upside-down, it was such a gift to have a friendly place to land. So, I packed up my world and unpacked it into a room no bigger than two double beds.
I threw myself into my work. I powered on. Everything was going to be fine.
Fast forward a few months and I still didn’t feel like myself. Of course, this isn’t unusual, breakups are hard. It takes time to grieve a lost relationship. But, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something else distressing me. I just couldn’t put my finger on it.
While talking to my parents about these lingering blues, my mom had a suggestion that seemed out of left field, “Why don’t you try getting your own apartment?”
As a New Yorker who had been broke only a few years before, the idea had never crossed my mind.
My own apartment. The thought felt good. If I did my legwork, I knew I could find a place I could afford. I wasn’t tied into a lease. The more I mulled it over, the better it sounded.
I managed to find a new place quickly, and within the next month, I was the proud sole-resident of a less-than 400 square foot studio. That apartment (which truthfully wasn’t much bigger than the room I moved out of), gave me the space I needed to heal and rebuild that year. Room to breathe – to just BE, own my own – was the missing plank on the bridge to my own well-being.
Physical Spaces Affect Your Health
As it turns out, my anecdotal experience is backed by scientific research. Physical spaces have an impact on both your physical and mental health. It’s well-documented that green spaces and natural light impact human well-being, but color, privacy, and even the materials used can have an impact.
So, what do you do when your environment – be it your home, work, or even the city you live in – is harmful to your health? Not everyone has the luxury I had to pick up and move.
Find Spaces that Make You Feel Calm
Some of us feel constantly bombarded by outside stressors and are drawn to cozy, womb-like space where we feel protected. Others feel stifled by tight quarters or cluttered environments and yearn for wide open spaces. It’s likely that you feel a combination of these things, depending on the day.
Find physical environments where you feel at ease and frequent them. If there isn’t a place at home or work, libraries, parks, cafes, and even your car are all good options.
Create More Peace in the Spaces You Frequent
So, maybe your office isn’t a place where you feel calm, but I bet there are things you could do to make it a healthier place for you. Clutter is actually a significant source of stress for many of us (too many stimuli). Get your Marie Kondo going and KonMari that ish! Hang photos of loved ones or an image of nature in your space. You could even research the psychology of color to redesign a room. It’s easy to get mired in the mindset that we are stuck with what we’ve got. Fight that inertia!
Practice Movements That Give You Space
My fiance will often come home and find me lying on the floor in a starfish position. No, I’m not making dust angels on my floor, I’m just practicing my right to take up space. If your a yogi, you may be familiar with the phrase “chest opener.” By lying on the floor all stretched out, I release the tension in my chest that builds up from hunching over a computer all day. Google “expansive yoga poses” if you’d like some ideas to try this out.
Make Space in Your Schedule
In our increasingly digital lives, space in a calendar can actually feel like physical space. Putting time “away” also frees you up to go to some of those places that bring you calm.
Finally, if it comes down to it, don’t be afraid to change your environment. I know it can be difficult and daunting, but the right change in space could completely transform the way you feel.
How do you create healthy space for yourself?