In recent years, I’ve been grappling with my social media use. I do find value in these platforms. I enjoy keeping up with friends and family who live far away. Everyone enjoys videos of miniature donkeys, right? They can be a helpful real-time resource when something is happening in my city. I’ve met and connected with colleagues and folks who share my interests. I will probably share this blog post via social media. However, while there is absolutely a good side to social media, there are also very bad, and very ugly sides to these platforms.
I won’t go into it, as we’ve all both personally experienced the “icky” parts of social media, and read the controversies around these platforms. If you’d like to learn more about it, I found the following engaging and thought provoking: Under the Influence Podcast, Cal Newport on the Rich Roll Podcast, Lynzy & Co’s story, and The Chaos Machine by Max Fisher.
When Elon Musk purchased twitter last year and promptly fired most of its executive team, it helped me make a decision I’d long considered. I deleted my twitter account, and took all the other social media apps off of my phone. I can check instagram, facebook, and tiktok on a web browser on my laptop, but they no longer go with me everywhere I go.
It’s been over two months, and it has been freeing.
In the first few weeks, I kept clicking through apps trying to find something to “scratch the itch.” Today, I often read the news in the morning. In the evening, I’ll spend a few minutes scrolling through Pinterest or Strava while I’m watching tv. However, these apps are far less addictive, and my overall screen time is down significantly.
I initially worried that I’d miss special posts by friends or family members, but since I check in on my laptop a few times a week (compared to multiple times a day on my phone), I think I’ve been catching the most important things. The web versions of social media platforms definitely have less functionality than the apps, but these limitations help to curb the amount of time I spend scrolling. I’m no longer up-to-date on the trends, but I don’t really don’t feel like I’m missing out.
To say it has been a relief is an understatement. I’m no longer carrying around the weight of everyone else’s opinions, the constant regurgitation of bad news, nor the pressure to perform my life for others.
I am less stressed, more productive, and have more time and mental capacity to focus on the things that actually bring me joy and satisfaction. I joined a masters swim team. I’m finally drafting the business plan I’ve been talking about for two years. I found the time to write this blog!
All of which is to say, I set a boundary with social media, and it has served me well. I’m resolved to keep this boundary throughout the year. If you’d like to craft a social media boundary for 2023, here are a few prompts to get you started.
Figure out what is and is not working for you
Each of us is unique. What worked for me, won’t necessarily be the right solution for you. Take a critical eye to your use of social media. Where and how is it serving you? Where and how is it bringing you down? Is it taking too much time or attention? Do you just feel “bleh” everytime you walk away from a platform? If it helps to journal or jot down some notes over the course of a week or two, do it. The point of this process is to figure out what social media boundaries will be most helpful for you.
Curate your feeds
Once upon a time, curating your feed would give you significant control over what you experienced on your socials. Unfortunately, today the algorithms serve up much more content that you didn’t opt-into (hello sponsored, suggested, and for-you content). While it’s not perfect, curating your feeds can help.
There are essentially two types of entities you follow on social media. Those you know in “real life” and those you don’t. For those people and businesses you don’t actually know in your living, breathing, moving world, please feel free to unfollow, mute, and block any of those accounts at any time. The stakes here are low. Free yourself!
It gets trickier when it comes to our friends, families, coworkers, teammates, but it is still important to moderate the content you’re exposing yourself to on a regular basis. Thankfully, most social platforms have options that let you mute or unfollow someone’s posts without unfriending them. If someone’s social media presence is really toxic for you, it’s also ok for you to delete and block them completely. If someone is important to you and takes issue, it’s an opportunity for a genuine conversation.
To start curating, you can just unfollow accounts that aren’t serving them as you find them in your feed, or you can go through a few times a year and do a mass unfollow. It’s like cleaning out your digital closet.
Utilize tools
There are lots of options built into these applications and into your smartphone that can help you set limits on your social media. On an Android, use the built in Digital Wellbeing feature; on an Apple, use the built in Screen Time feature. There are dozens of apps designed to help you set boundaries with your social media use, including Social Fever, Clear Space, and Freedom. Perhaps the easiest and most impactful thing to do is to turn off notifications for your social media applications. They’re like a siren song dragging you back to your doom.
Find alternatives to fill any gaps
When I first deleted my apps, I kept picking up my phone and looking for them. This was both a revelation of how often I had been looking at them, and an invitation to find something more productive to do. For those moments when going back to work or reading a book instead wasn’t the reasonable option, I found a few on-phone alternatives. The apps to the actual newspaper help me stay informed without all of the noise. Pinterest gives me pretty images that give me the same visual satisfaction as instagram, but only holds my attention for a few minutes. As you experiment with your social media boundaries, you’ll figure out healthier ways to replace those sources of information and entertainment.
If you’re already comfortable with the ways you do or don’t engage with social media, congratulations! Please feel free to share your approach in the comments so we can learn from you.
If you’re ready to set some social media boundaries, but need some ideas, here are a few possible suggestions:
- Limit your access to social platforms first thing in the morning and/or before bed
- Cut out the platforms that take away too much of your time or energy
- Only look at social platforms on certain days of the week
- Delete your apps on the weekends
- Adopt a “no phone” environment during meals
- Schedule a brief social media break into your day and don’t check your apps when it’s over